tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51024796602799201002024-03-05T17:56:55.988-05:00Are you effing kidding me? Josh Homer struggles to understand his fellow man.Gandhi says shut the fuck up and take it like a man!Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.comBlogger195125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-3384426693693197252011-02-10T23:54:00.002-05:002011-02-10T23:57:32.442-05:00I had a kidHe took up a lot of my time. So I wasn't able to write. Now he's older, so I have more time and a lot more things I'm pissed off about. More to come. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMpyU7THJJSrtYrC582XfWA5e22EL2jDzAcH7ENO0DN-2vJtm2RxCcNjeQxwUkZTDfJDFM2S-LpJyupyeDv-hzh2p3kTCSwhSPoihyphenhyphenwGTSHgDonacGKFH0_7_ljp_u1v_Ez4LlwEpxKk/s1600/BilalTV.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMpyU7THJJSrtYrC582XfWA5e22EL2jDzAcH7ENO0DN-2vJtm2RxCcNjeQxwUkZTDfJDFM2S-LpJyupyeDv-hzh2p3kTCSwhSPoihyphenhyphenwGTSHgDonacGKFH0_7_ljp_u1v_Ez4LlwEpxKk/s400/BilalTV.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5572291196634344114" /></a>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-65492858007100522302009-04-30T16:40:00.002-04:002009-04-30T16:43:51.634-04:00I bet he watches NBC's "Heroes"As a dude, I often day dream about having super powers. Then I hear my kid screaming and come back to reality. Some people are just not that...... just watch this video. <br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Da1ADqPplQ4&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Da1ADqPplQ4&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />It will be a sad day when Shadow Hare (does a bunny strike fear in anyone?) gets shot. Perhaps his "team" can get a group discount at the gym. DId you notice there was a girl on his team? I would love to see who she is.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-43856106195870351872009-04-11T18:29:00.003-04:002009-04-11T18:45:57.416-04:00New York's BravestMany people outside of New York have a certain reverence for NYC Police and Firemen based on the great job they did during 9-11 and the recovery efforts after. I'm not trying to take away from the work they did then. Well I live in NYC, and I can tell you that the police and firemen are not all good. I've had my run in with the police (A cop threatened to arrest me for handing out fliers until I threatened to call my lawyer) and I see them abuse their power on a daily basis. I saw a cop on his cell phone directing traffic, I routinely see the police in my neighborhood go up a wrong way street because to go around it would mean they would have to run three lights (they never wait for green lights). They double park, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=052S1yg-zR0&feature=channel_page" target=new>block fire hydrants</a>; basically do what they want. <br /><br />The firemen are at least funny when they abuse the power they have. I love when they park a fire-truck outside the local Pathmark and go shopping for groceries in full fireman uniform (The truck is of course parked in a fire zone and blocks traffic). I offer you this picture of a group of firefighters doing a little bulk shopping at Costco. Hey, maybe there was a fire sale. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoLEmsbsafs3xgjFTdr5fzyusan2B8M6TlNLCzBx3MaVCAo_93rOtr7wazEnDEBTlKVWxOdAelbo2_bxcFoYkJMp3wC5wurPqSH81tyrQV-lD0qvc_pBxTtAGk1pnsgqRSwODmEWFe-Q/s1600-h/0411091415.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWoLEmsbsafs3xgjFTdr5fzyusan2B8M6TlNLCzBx3MaVCAo_93rOtr7wazEnDEBTlKVWxOdAelbo2_bxcFoYkJMp3wC5wurPqSH81tyrQV-lD0qvc_pBxTtAGk1pnsgqRSwODmEWFe-Q/s400/0411091415.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5323564866957314082" /></a>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-49539138073805927442009-03-18T16:05:00.004-04:002009-03-18T16:12:28.786-04:00I don't drinkbut if I did, I'd only drink Sweet Bitch wine; it's smooth and fruity. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2e8eIoU_CBiojiFkszLGxxTbI8nkdQ_FNZucF-Xod1lcKPvkNyuS06A89UxIl-7fpAUAG9rQzVeGQ21M0RvBfFEeMPZUi7JJRmXT9fgdKGbAJJ8hqXx1M9aHlXsPdGL0z5DgS5QA9h9g/s1600-h/0317091825.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2e8eIoU_CBiojiFkszLGxxTbI8nkdQ_FNZucF-Xod1lcKPvkNyuS06A89UxIl-7fpAUAG9rQzVeGQ21M0RvBfFEeMPZUi7JJRmXT9fgdKGbAJJ8hqXx1M9aHlXsPdGL0z5DgS5QA9h9g/s400/0317091825.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314622777810693490" /></a>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-5587438375467743092009-03-17T11:45:00.006-04:002009-03-18T15:47:24.393-04:00WIth new Grand Theft Auto, parents try to dodge the bulletsYou know my son is only 13 weeks old, but I already want someone else to raise him. That statement is both untrue and ridiculous. Yet when parents cry time and time again about how the state and private companies should help raise their kids, people agree. <br /><br /><a href="http://multiplayerblog.mtv.com/2009/03/16/grand-theft-auto-chinatown-wars-scoreless-review-from-a-world-without-a-ps2/" target=new>Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown</a> just came out of the Nintendo DS. Parents are complaining once again that game makers need to take responsibility for making these violent games. True. Nintendo should send someone over to each kids house and monitor what kids are playing. Nintendo should take an active role in the raising of kids. The government should put laws into place that limit the choices kids can make, thereby encroaching ever so slightly on that pesky 1st amendment. Or... parents can grow a pair, realize they are not their kids BFF and sometimes lay down rules that might make them looked at as the bad guy. As I recall it wasn't Nintendo that got you pregnant; If anything that the lovely people at Coors and the faulty people at Trojan. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8UT4DIVs6YSCt8XpDSl0OUYZqlHIvvc7oox7vJnOmg8ijByDzcWOBUcAWzpfoyphy9o4kVFq2pHvCZzsqqlDsp5NiZ2GaSlqJoR4cGKbfo_xzofbbTXhE6jiCilqfqaaWUyeeukd8HNA/s1600-h/Kids+Playing+Video+Games.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 303px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8UT4DIVs6YSCt8XpDSl0OUYZqlHIvvc7oox7vJnOmg8ijByDzcWOBUcAWzpfoyphy9o4kVFq2pHvCZzsqqlDsp5NiZ2GaSlqJoR4cGKbfo_xzofbbTXhE6jiCilqfqaaWUyeeukd8HNA/s400/Kids+Playing+Video+Games.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314186491808477138" /></a><b><CENTER>In this game my parents are hypocrites. <br />Look I just called mommy a selfish bitch! 500 points!</b></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-18666712664558841592009-03-17T11:37:00.006-04:002009-03-17T15:48:08.437-04:00Maybe God's trying to tell you somethingOn Sunday afternoon in New York City (actually the Bronx) a woman was shot with an <a href="http://www.ny1.com/content/top_stories/95611/woman-hospitalized-after-being-shot-by-arrow/Default.aspx" target=new>arrow</a> in the stomach as she got out of her car. She lived and is now in the hospital. <br /><br />Everyone is in shock; as one of her friends said on the news, "Why would someone do this? We were coming from Church." Maybe God that's God's way of telling you to switch churches, you know He does work in mysterious.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuf_Nxd_7dgJu0ahi-kHYp7pZU69gNirP97lhst8VzaCvCf9KSo5j6wKwaXX9SQ9uIYY7BWvzEzyognnVD-5RfIbZjqz9H2hbws91FlfbfyCkkIpVpOFKWeIuei_5BxOm1UuEJGgMTA1A/s1600-h/Adoption-CupidLeft.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 384px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuf_Nxd_7dgJu0ahi-kHYp7pZU69gNirP97lhst8VzaCvCf9KSo5j6wKwaXX9SQ9uIYY7BWvzEzyognnVD-5RfIbZjqz9H2hbws91FlfbfyCkkIpVpOFKWeIuei_5BxOm1UuEJGgMTA1A/s400/Adoption-CupidLeft.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5314182862692274818" /></a><b><center>Just doing His work</b></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-4088478782257652712009-03-06T11:25:00.004-05:002009-03-06T12:08:58.429-05:00Chris Brown and Rihanna - part 2Last night in my acting class the subject of the Chris Brown beat down came up. One girl defended Chris Brown and said that Rihanna looked like she could be a smart ass. I have three thoughts on this: </p><ol><li>A dude should never hit a woman. Despite what people say women and men are not equal, at least physically. That’s why in professional sports the rules are changed; the WNBA has a smaller ball (yet the same size hoops, makes for easier shots), the reason men’s and women professional tennis matches are structured differently. We acknowledge this difference in some arenas but not others, well the difference is very apparent in the “beat yo ass” arena. </li><li>I do not know if you, the reader know how hard it is to knock someone out in a street fight, but it is very hard. It might look easy in boxing, or even in MMA, but that’s because there are rules. In a no holds barred, punch in the nuts, bite your hand, gouge your eye out fight, it’s very hard. Somehow Chris managed to knock her out. That’s a lot of rage and hate behind those fists. </li><li>It’s about looks. Chris Brown is a pretty man, yeah I said it. He’s getting cut slack by some women (I can’t believe it either) because they like him. If he looked like <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001433/" target="new">Yaphet Kotto</a> people would be calling for him to be lynched with a rope made of shards of glass and fire. </li></ol><P><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIK_gm_H2Hwpo91EmbCIzoqoTH5rzXr88if4Z2-t1XaNT9PNVab90jMmSkmxr9819TVdcLY0Jmm_vE4B0haf8V9JKCQJC3naGbfh3IjJRLJvPL2rJwMj5tDZ2KcqS1wCzBNDjGSEVgYWQ/s1600-h/CBjetski.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 281px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIK_gm_H2Hwpo91EmbCIzoqoTH5rzXr88if4Z2-t1XaNT9PNVab90jMmSkmxr9819TVdcLY0Jmm_vE4B0haf8V9JKCQJC3naGbfh3IjJRLJvPL2rJwMj5tDZ2KcqS1wCzBNDjGSEVgYWQ/s400/CBjetski.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5310122744428227810" /></a><center><B>"I'm so sawwy I beat her ass, oh look a wave!"</center></b>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-64800454325503478792009-03-04T17:31:00.010-05:002009-03-06T16:54:49.714-05:00Real talkSo after Chris Brown handed Rihanna a beat down of epic proportions (she was literally choked out and looked like <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/22/rihanna-photo-face-beating/" target=new>this</a>) she took him back. Sad.<br /><br />All the little girls (and some boys, hayyyyeee!) who look up to her are seeing this; seeing her and Chris on vacation in Miami jet skiing (and healing up). What message is it sending? Did you see Chris "Bobby" Brown's less than sincere apology? Talking about an "unfortunate situation"? Really? At least he could have manned up on the apology.<br /><br />I blame her brothers, because if I knew of a dude who hit my sister, well let's just say all those episodes of Forensic Files info would come in handy. I would at least take a bunch of doornobs and put them in a pillow case.<br /><br />Personally I think it’s only a matter of time before he is back to his old tricks. Perhaps I should lend her my copy of <a href=2009/03/hes-just-not-that-into-you.html>Forensic Files</a>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-43532925696904837982009-03-04T14:10:00.005-05:002009-03-04T14:34:15.622-05:00He's Just Not That Into YouI am a big fan of <a href="http://www.forensicfiles.com/" target=new>Forensic Files</a>. It amazes me how a case can be solved using cat hair. <br /><br />I saw an episode the other day where a husband killed his wife. Turns out it was the second time he tried to kill her. The first time he snuck up behind her in their barn and hit her in the head with the blunt side of an axe. Then he ran off. She crawled something like 100 yards to a neighbor’s house and the neighbor calls 911. <br /><br />The woman is taken to a hospital where she lies and says a horse kicked her in the head (The medical examiner actually wrote in his report, “This is BS!”) and went back to her husband. She told her friends she wanted to “work it out.”<br /><br />I can see if he cheated, maybe you can work that out. He snores; you can work that out with Breath Right strips. He’s bad with money; work that out with a financial class. But he snuck up behind you and hit you in the head with a very large hammer, how do you work that out? With Spidey sense? Maybe, unless you're married to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venom_(comics)" target=new>Venom</a><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFBF-W6wyMKxdGvxIzJTGxleOy0ml4XUWqq5S21QQUowJ0d8Mideesi-FXWGflgT3iexQ2t34snxQPI3COgt-cuGzRVGssF-7kyZEYTYKAprnobVKpL6eOGwJVdinugLFh2yK7z6vOpRs/s1600-h/spideysense.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 390px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFBF-W6wyMKxdGvxIzJTGxleOy0ml4XUWqq5S21QQUowJ0d8Mideesi-FXWGflgT3iexQ2t34snxQPI3COgt-cuGzRVGssF-7kyZEYTYKAprnobVKpL6eOGwJVdinugLFh2yK7z6vOpRs/s400/spideysense.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5309416170707099698" /></a>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-68074371878209440892009-03-03T13:38:00.004-05:002009-03-06T16:55:43.877-05:00"The Bachelor" "Jason Meznick" and maybe "Jimmy Kimmel" (or is it Jason Mesnick?)A blogger <a href="http://harrisbloom.blogspot.com/">friend</a> of mine mentioned how hot the topic of the TV show <I>The Bachelor"</i> is right now. He also mentioned that the finale was a let down. My thought is, "You watch the Bachelor?"<br /><br />Man up.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-63959349220211788082009-02-23T18:15:00.012-05:002009-02-24T12:33:16.427-05:00Protesting done wrongI don't know how many people followed the Take Back NYU protest, where a bunch of kids took over the food court for two days. I had to walk past this crap on my way home from class. They wanted outrageous demands like for NYU to open it’s books, for NYU to get involved in the Gaza conflict (“We’ll send our crack team of flashlight security guards there right now!"), and more use of the library. Oh stupid kids.<br /><br />In the video below, after NYU heads had enough of this childish crap, they walked right past the “barricades” the protesters put up.<br /><br />In the video I noticed the following things said by the protesters:<br /><br /><ul><li>“We’re trying to do this as a democracy” – No you’re not, you took over a food court. The definition of that is not democracy but actually terrorism.<br /></li><li>To the incoming security guards: "You can’t come here this is NYU student free space” – Ummmm, no it’s not. It’s space OWNED by NYU and students are allowed to use it. Because you go to a school does not mean you own real-estate. </li><li>“Brutality! You’re on camera” – This is said to security guards as they are walking away! </li><li>“You may not detain us!” – Actually they can, you’re trespassing, you’re breaking the law. You can be arrested. </li><li>From one protester to another: “We’re using consensus as to how we will proceed” – Ummm, no you’re not, you’re just stalling before the cops that have you surrounded arrest you. You were NEVER in control. The administration let you play a game that they could have ended anytime they felt like it, and they did. </li></ul><p align="left">I understand that NYU wanted to avoid looking like the bad guy, so they allowed the kids to play their little protest game, but if I were in charge I would have just had the police clear them out the first night. All in all this was not a real protest, but just something that a 40 year old man can look back and say, “Remember that time we took over the food court? That was awesome.”<br /><br /><center><object width="400" height="243" data="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=2426264673933994555&hl=en&fs=true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><param name="id" value="VideoPlayback" /><param name="src" value="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=2426264673933994555&hl=en&fs=true" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /></object></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-38313135372119345532009-02-19T11:34:00.002-05:002009-02-19T11:37:53.928-05:00If only I can get my wife on the same pageWho knew raising a baby was such hard work? Well it's time for the little one to pay his own way. <br /><br /><object width="400" height="267"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3263721&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" /><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=3263721&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="267"></embed></object><br />Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-49921357275294143192009-01-28T15:43:00.004-05:002009-01-28T15:46:39.731-05:00As long as we're on the same page...My wife bought a couch sight unseen off of Overstock.com. When the delivery guy arrived yesterday, he looked at our brownstone and the eight steps leading to the front door. He immediately said the following, "Hey, hope you know I don't do stairs." I replied, "I heard, hope you know I don't do tips." He didn't think it was funny, and by him hanging around for an extra minute after the couch was on the curb, he also didn't think I was serious.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-24561475112177152202009-01-23T15:01:00.000-05:002009-01-23T15:02:44.534-05:00Now that Obama is Pres., racism is over!!!<object width="448" height="374"> <param name="movie" value="http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/e/16711680/wshh0LHi87pv9SGdL0GI" /> <param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="quality" value="high" /> <embed src="http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/e/16711680/wshh0LHi87pv9SGdL0GI" quality="high" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowFullscreen="true" width="448" height="374"></embed> </object>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-63872073149493076332009-01-19T19:05:00.007-05:002009-01-19T19:48:43.738-05:00One of many sacrifices for my sonGetting a kid ready takes time, and any time I spend on me takes away time needed to get his diapers, bottle, car seat, clothes etc ready for any trip. As such I regret to inform you my afro is dead (May 2008 to Jan 09, RIP).<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qg7toxQT0aKyL2dEx3FCS7z4RdmFCAuH0WWzPpOKDfBT75xFiBk-ENpOI_3QTsOHP9sR4j3Bn6VILTITOahU8vsrm4vbdnZdK6RpG6rj1TNlzUUKa91BfKiqtxe7exkLoFexfhJBhnA/s1600-h/DSC01144.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9qg7toxQT0aKyL2dEx3FCS7z4RdmFCAuH0WWzPpOKDfBT75xFiBk-ENpOI_3QTsOHP9sR4j3Bn6VILTITOahU8vsrm4vbdnZdK6RpG6rj1TNlzUUKa91BfKiqtxe7exkLoFexfhJBhnA/s400/DSC01144.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293161141234368834" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dwayne from </span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What's Happening</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> was so proud. </span><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG4YK1DRVUISQFlSVdjEhLOXkMLA8sTL-G5lj42u701AruCw9NjxK780xKdcpIKnVLDW4mGCK-vIYhJv90zBjyJmCWCbj5na8aJO40ligBUn5CZ4OYiT4St7icX32rw9p3UK4iHp8XCjo/s1600-h/DSC01148.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG4YK1DRVUISQFlSVdjEhLOXkMLA8sTL-G5lj42u701AruCw9NjxK780xKdcpIKnVLDW4mGCK-vIYhJv90zBjyJmCWCbj5na8aJO40ligBUn5CZ4OYiT4St7icX32rw9p3UK4iHp8XCjo/s400/DSC01148.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293163455939568178" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Very Obama-like; hope and change. </span></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiYf5htOvLUb9NuVV2C78bNyTMnrRaHXDY0NfAHv0M3IgZC0bE6apByQgTOhYDudh0CmeulUfBAoTGJLJsyFbyf1jJp3TwCLwtLIwhE-F9mwztroOSmt9rDmuJL-my0E-1fm_fyZX9spE/s1600-h/Face+off.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 298px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiYf5htOvLUb9NuVV2C78bNyTMnrRaHXDY0NfAHv0M3IgZC0bE6apByQgTOhYDudh0CmeulUfBAoTGJLJsyFbyf1jJp3TwCLwtLIwhE-F9mwztroOSmt9rDmuJL-my0E-1fm_fyZX9spE/s400/Face+off.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5293169888234148754" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">The new cover from Blu-ray version of </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Face </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Off</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-style: italic;font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It was fun while it lasted, but it's for the best. When I went into the Dominican barbershop and asked them to cut my wig off, the barber says in a very thick accent, "Poppa, jew sure?" I replied yes. He turns on the clippers and when he is about to cut he then says, "Poppa, jew sure, cuz when I cut it, it no come back." Perhaps I'll bury my hair in the pet cemetery, then it will come back. </span></div>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-21633169746652338862009-01-07T10:26:00.005-05:002009-01-07T10:36:16.614-05:00God help meI just had a child and it really makes me believe in God; not the power of birth stuff. I believe in God by default. <br /><br />Evolution could not explain how got here. A caveman couldn't hide from a velociraptor with a screaming baby in his hands. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIg5i6NPj7g28V_yukfr2GKzz-JM5KsT2XJV8iYjCUUM5keJD1FSSF_WRRGlByqiNT_5WKLMXeeDBFjcmxzaXlCZUbwDX2aAG9yEdYudBLNoMgYAccnSQre9pD0Zy8M1_vEBvcw4zQ4Rc/s1600-h/velociraptor.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIg5i6NPj7g28V_yukfr2GKzz-JM5KsT2XJV8iYjCUUM5keJD1FSSF_WRRGlByqiNT_5WKLMXeeDBFjcmxzaXlCZUbwDX2aAG9yEdYudBLNoMgYAccnSQre9pD0Zy8M1_vEBvcw4zQ4Rc/s400/velociraptor.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5288574678521471474" /></a><center><B>"Dinner time! <br />I think I hear a baby that needs his diaper changed."</center></b>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-42624885484826056142008-12-30T13:44:00.010-05:002008-12-30T13:52:35.089-05:00Sex sells, I guessFor years sex has been used to sell everything, but the new Arby's commercial comes off more as creepy. See for yourself.<br /><center><br /><object height="405" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TaHDN3_X4QY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TaHDN3_X4QY&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0&color1=0x234900&color2=0x4e9e00&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="340" height="285"></embed></object></center><br />I like how the hat pops up at the end to let you know he's got a boner. The commercial creeps me out, like this dude has chopped up a bunch of women and made an Arby's uniform out of human flesh. <strong><em>"It put's the Arby's sauce in the basket!" </em></strong><br /><br />Needless to say, I am never eating at Arby's.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-76788087491058166082008-12-29T17:28:00.004-05:002008-12-29T17:39:45.252-05:00Hey baby, do that dance<div align="left">Those of you who know me, know I dress for comfort. I mean I look ok, have some new fashions, but I keep it chill. But apparently to some I looked thugged out.<br /><br />On Friday I went into Walgreens to pick up my wife's perscriptions. As I came out a white hip hop looking couple with strong eastern European accents came up to me and asked me "Where is Fulton Street?" I knew immediately they were not looking for Fulton St., but rather Fulton Street Mall, home of 500 sneaker shops, 1,000 cell phone/pager stores, and countless hood rat clothing stores. I replied, "You mean Fulton St. Mall right?" They answered, "No, Fulton St., there is sneakers store here, and here and there." My reply, "You mean Fulton Street Mall, you want to shop and buy sneakers and stuff, right?" "Yes, Yes!"<br /><br />Although the only thing I have ever bought from Fulton Street Mall, was a smoothie from Dunkin Donuts, I am mad that from where we were standing I knew exactly how to get there. I guess it's how birds know where to fly every winter.<br /><br /></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKMcQ52LI16osLs_0S8R7OgGd05t4jSxJC_ZxDYNP-jeQFfmwos_-KU7XSYy1wPUnluy57-2V-9ecdjLWJr0a9SQkjE0L8WFrzjA_6MBsoMOVKKuTMm5LaHh7qghbuCo37u5x9TpiDInI/s1600-h/birdman-redjersey300.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5285343028827878274" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 275px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKMcQ52LI16osLs_0S8R7OgGd05t4jSxJC_ZxDYNP-jeQFfmwos_-KU7XSYy1wPUnluy57-2V-9ecdjLWJr0a9SQkjE0L8WFrzjA_6MBsoMOVKKuTMm5LaHh7qghbuCo37u5x9TpiDInI/s400/birdman-redjersey300.jpg" border="0" /> <p align="center"></a><b>This is <u>NOT</u> Josh Homer! Nor will it ever be.</b></p>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-15896943754052227002008-12-28T15:30:00.005-05:002008-12-29T17:39:30.275-05:00Racism or just pride?Everyone who has been to Cold Stone Creamery knows that when you tip the people there, they sing. Usually it's something like "We got a tip" etc. However in the Cold Stone in Brooklyn, when you tip them they sing a remix of Biggie Smalls' <i>Hypnotize</i>. Not only did I get a tub of <i>Apple Pie a la Cold Stone</i> but I was able to say "Brooklyn stand up!" and no one batted an eye.<br /><br /><center><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/L4OSayGiPdI&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/L4OSayGiPdI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><strong>Maybe Cold Stone ice cream put the Biggie in Biggie</strong></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-33722970056536633662008-12-17T14:31:00.001-05:002008-12-17T14:38:55.128-05:00WTF Amazon buyers?So I'm searching for home gym stuff because once the kid comes, I don't think I will be able to do the whole 2 hour gym thing (30 minutes travel time to and from teh house, 20-30 minutes to shower and change, 60 minutes to work out and stretch). So I went to Amazon to find some nice things to work out with that I can store under my bed.<br /><br />Turns out that the people who love to work out at home also love the movie American Psycho the Uncut Killer Collector's Edition. Click for a better view. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSFsfglKU2QJ8KZQjSUMULbzQF0fCpoG0mImvCIqPs-qwEWydDwHYps7Ksis_DyOd2potv_VHUThkI8x3mxgIZErmHc-v24b0_PwBqCBbAUvAgyRUNVQD_3Tn2_UK4hTFA7rZdJGNEqWI/s1600-h/Amazon.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 114px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSFsfglKU2QJ8KZQjSUMULbzQF0fCpoG0mImvCIqPs-qwEWydDwHYps7Ksis_DyOd2potv_VHUThkI8x3mxgIZErmHc-v24b0_PwBqCBbAUvAgyRUNVQD_3Tn2_UK4hTFA7rZdJGNEqWI/s400/Amazon.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5280844191312222194" /></a><center><B>"If I get my guns strong enough I could choke someone to death!"</b></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-83001723194025668542008-12-17T11:11:00.004-05:002008-12-17T11:27:10.385-05:00Walmart is sketchySo this guy names his son Adolf Hitler, then he tries to get a birthday cake with "Adolf Hitler" spelledf on it from Shoprite. Shorite tells him to eff off, they're not doing it. Since Shoprite said no, they went to Walmart, and of course Walmart made the cake. Walmart only cares about that dollar. It also turns out the guy requested previously had asked for a swastika to be included in the decoration of his kid's cakes. <br /><br />The father claims he named his kid Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name" and he says he is not racist. Yeah I believe that, especially since the kids older sister's name is JoyceLynn <B>Aryan Nation</b> Campbell. <br /><br />My thing is this, if you're a racist just be a racist. Don't try to back peddle and side step it. I could at least respect that, instead of being a racist and a coward.<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WP1QVJ-APlA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WP1QVJ-APlA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-83418196768626271452008-12-15T14:12:00.002-05:002008-12-15T14:13:36.972-05:00Click hereI'm a Kanye West fan, I have all his albums etc. I read his blog. What I just realized is his blog is basically links to other blogs: it's a sample.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-10838288526067169892008-12-15T11:27:00.003-05:002008-12-15T11:32:19.377-05:00No baby yetThis weekend was our baby's due date; he was not born. We did get so many loving calls, emails, texts, facebook messages, IMs asking if the baby was born; all from people who don't have kids.Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-75757247453204034922008-12-12T12:28:00.009-05:002008-12-12T12:47:42.257-05:00No MisterWe all know Hollywood is doing remakes of older movies because they have no new ideas and/or they are not willing to take a chance on anything new (See <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0970416/" target=new><i>The Day the Earth Stood Still</I></a> or <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0335438/" target=new><I>Starsky & Hutch</I></a>.) However you could always count on a least different actors. Not anymore. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1068680/" target=new><I>Yes Man</I></a> or as I like to call it Liar Liar 2. <br /><br />Haven't we seen the exact same plot but with a different reason to explain it? No Josh there is a difference, that Jim Carrey had to tell the truth and this Jim Carrey has to say yes to everything. Oh yeah, then which movie is this picture from? <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepGLBHGsrLnqKKaL8FD19OHIGMOybkYp9qguZwjE7wh1Jn2Y6QCs2EJd4_Px0eskRsqMCMX_T5CVueKS3vqDkuU5O13xwm68x7fE-uLj0du9kGU6ntAxvut-EPQvKYGGQLiDN0aLyfKM/s1600-h/liarliaryesman.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 245px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiepGLBHGsrLnqKKaL8FD19OHIGMOybkYp9qguZwjE7wh1Jn2Y6QCs2EJd4_Px0eskRsqMCMX_T5CVueKS3vqDkuU5O13xwm68x7fE-uLj0du9kGU6ntAxvut-EPQvKYGGQLiDN0aLyfKM/s400/liarliaryesman.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278958261558095650" /></a><center><B>"Did you eat my food that I had in the company fridge?"<br /> He either has to tell the truth or say yes.</b></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5102479660279920100.post-88596499314592967532008-12-10T14:37:00.006-05:002008-12-10T14:45:52.807-05:00I'm not buying itThere is a new trend in New York; kids on the street claiming to be homeless and asking for my money. The only problem is I don't buy it. The kid out today begging looked to be around 20, but he had product in his hair! How the eff you are begging for money and you've got a faux-hawk all hair sprayed up? There are no rips in your jeans that you did not put there! There is one kid who begs everynight has a pea-coat! I have never been able to affort a pea-coat! Eff you kid. <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg69T_Z7jNvFWO4NvkkZn-7baDekOOrOxAFfC17LrvqA8OxF_VIF5JziemowJ_3r1fu6GqhhSWtyxnZjG1n3YiIO6_sV9orULrA1YD2zB3hOzk3Sf6SOOLjf0lEO0iB4Rb_FpG60p6Z7Sk/s1600-h/hipsters.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg69T_Z7jNvFWO4NvkkZn-7baDekOOrOxAFfC17LrvqA8OxF_VIF5JziemowJ_3r1fu6GqhhSWtyxnZjG1n3YiIO6_sV9orULrA1YD2zB3hOzk3Sf6SOOLjf0lEO0iB4Rb_FpG60p6Z7Sk/s400/hipsters.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5278249553000283202" /></a><B><Center> Spare some change? We're like totally homeless and shit.</b></center>Josh Homerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00757919675054009112noreply@blogger.com0