Back from Virginia

Guess who's back? Me. I went to Springfield VA to visit my niece for the first time. She's three months old. Now before you go and say I'm a bad uncle let me just say we tried to get down there as soon as the kid was born. Then our car broke down (the water pump went out), then I had to film some TV stuff. Let's just say lots of stuff happened all at once.

Anyway, here's some pics of my neice.

My raw beauty made her cry


She was sleepy, but still had a kung fu grip


At 3 months she has reverse male pattern baldness


I hope my wife doesn't get any ideas.
Babies are dream killers


What babies do best.

It was a good trip. I got to see the new family addition and my brother's 54 inch plasma TV, which he has a PS3 hooked up to it (that means Blu-Ray DVDs, which BTW have amazing picture quality). He has a full home theater system hooked up. I'm not trying to take anything away from the kid, miracle of life and all, but the TV was amazing and it didn't throw up on my shirt.

When the cat's away

My wife is out of town for three days on business. So I'm left to my own devices, and by devices I mean nachos, flat screen TV (sans Oprah, my wife's favorite), and my X-BOX.Are the devices ready?
Aye aye captain.

Don't get me wrong I love my wife, I wouldn't have married anyone else (no I'm not kissing her ass, she doesn't read my blog), but you need a break every now and then. No shopping for shoes AKA holding her purse, no eating organically grown asparagus, and no watching a TiVo's Oprah after work.

You've stolen so much of my time

I bought my wife the Oprah 20 Year DVD set and we watched all 17+ hours of the set in less than a week. Really think about that, 17 hours of TV in one work week is a lot of Orpah. I like Oprah, she's a positive influence in the world, but 17 hours of her, and her BFF Gale, Dr. Ox, and the rest of the her crew is just too much.

Orpah does help me out though. My wife really pushes my comedy career because she believes in me, and wants me to get on Oprah. All and all, I can live with Oprah. Tyra though is a whole other story.

No matter who is on Tyra's show it is about her, but in a way that is far less charismatic than Oprah. For example, she had some kids on who all had cancer and looked like they all had cancer, really sad stuff. Tyra asks them how it feels to be so young and know you can die at any minute. The one kid gives a heart wrenching tale of how he feels and how he stand out because of his horrible disease. Tyra's reply: 'I know how you feel because when I was young I was tall and gangly, and I stood out.' Really, in your mind Tyra cancer=being tall? If that's the case my heart goes out to Shaq, he's really going through it right now.

To add insult to injury Tyra is sitting in front of these poor cancer children, who are all bald because of the chemo and she has the nerve to have on a brand new wig! That's mocking them at this point. At least take off your hair piece and be bald to show some solidarity Tyra (I would never want to see her before she visits the wig crypt and gets her doo right.)