The Chris Rock Tapes

I'm not talking about Big Ass Jokes, Bigger and Blacker or even Bring the Pain. I'm talking about the 31 minute tape of Chris Rock talking to a private investigator about the woman who tried to set him up.

Here's the backstory. Chris Rock and his wife were seperated for a minute. During that time he slept with a woman (a white woman), who wiped his "DNA" off with a tissue then put it in the freezer for a year, and then got impregnated by her African boyfriend and claimed the little mixed baby was Rock's.

The bad news is Rock actually paid the woman some money to keep her quite at first, but when she demanded more he refused. She then went to the police and claimed Rock raped her. Ouch!

How much for a baby? $50,000?!?!?!
Ok OK, how bout this put it in my hand for 15 cent.

Accussing a dude of rape because he did not pay out in your extortion scheme is pretty low. Even the mention of the word rape can end someone's career. Oh well, it seems that celebrity brings drama, or as they say on the streets, "Mo money, mo problems."

Personally I can't wait for the day that white women everywhere throw themselves at me. I'd be like, "Hell no, I'm married but I'm also sleeping with Salma Hayek." Because my wife says I can. Salma call me.

I leave you with some highlights of the Rock tapes.

Rock: I know the night we went to the Ivy she had on white pants. I only noticed cause my wife's real classy and subdued and I'm out with a girl with big tits and white pants. It's just, I know people were like, 'heeey'.

PI (reading from police report): "He tried to pull out and ejaculated on her thighs. She immediately got up and went to the bathroom where she cleaned up with a Kleenex. She put the Kleenex in her pocket."
Rock: I've been so set up...[Josh Note: What was your first clue? Was it the kleenex in the freezer or the model that wanted to sleep with Chris Rock?]
PI: Did you come on her thighs?...
Rock: I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass. [Josh Note: Imagine having to say this in court, in front of your wife]