Customer Service?

I am so glad that my friend Amy was there to hear this phone call or no one would believe it.

Here's the back story. I few months ago I needed new studio quality headphones for my camera so I ordered them through Amazon. Amazon did not directly fill my order but subcontracted out to one of their approved vendors. After waiting 3 weeks with no contant with the seller, and sending numerous emails with no replies I contacted Amazon and tried to cancel my order because I needed them for a shoot that was coming up. I bought them from another source and tried to get my money back. Two weeks later the headphones come in the mail, I try to return them but it will cost me a restocking fee so I keep them as a back up. I of course leave the seller some feedback. I gave them a 3 out of 5 with the following comment, "Item came very late, sent email they did not respond until over a week later. Item did come as described only very late."

Two weeks after that someone calls me and asks if I would change my feedback for a $5 gift certificate to their store. I told them no since I would not shop there again and they could not buy my intergrity for $5. Fastforward to yesterday and the calls goes like this:

Customer Service: (in thick Jamacin accent): Mr Homer, I am calling about the phones you bought from Ace Digital.
Josh: OK.
Customer Service: You left us some feedback and I was wondering if you'd change it
Josh: I'd rather not, I think I was pretty honest
Customer Service: OK
Josh: I mean the item came a month late and I was shooting on a deadline
Customer Service: I understand that Mr Homer, I was not working here when that happened
Josh: I spoke with another girl at your company and she offered my $5, and I don't think you buy my opinion for $5
Customer Service: I understand, but maybe we can work something out. Is there anything you want from us?
Josh: No, I'm not going to order from your store again.
Customer Service: Ok Sir, but maybe we can work something out.
Josh: I'd rather not, I don't want to change what I wrote. I didn't even give you guys bad feedback, just average. I said the stuff was in good condition just super late.
Customer Service: I know, but maybe we can work something out.
Josh: I'm not changing the feedback.

Here's where it goes off the hook!

Customer Service: Maybe I can give you more than the $5.
Josh: No thanks
Customer Service: Is it because you're Jewish, you want more.
Josh: What?
Customer Service: You're Jewish right?
Josh: No, I'm black.
Customer Service: Oh, Joshua is a Jewish name
Josh: I know, but I am black
Customer Service: ha ha, you even sound like them.
Josh: What?
Customer Service: You have their accent
Josh: I have a Jersey accent. That's where I am from.
Customer Service: I did not mean to offend you, we can still work something out.
Josh: No thanks.
Customer Service: I'm just saying this is the last day I can offer you that deal.
Josh: Yeah sure, I understand.
Customer Service: Just letting you know.
Josh: No thanks.
Customer Service: Ok.
*CLICK*

Seriously, WTF? Amy was right there listening to the whole thing (well at least my side). We discussed it on the ride up to CT. What did this black dude expect another black dude to sound like, the stupid racist impression that some white comics do where ever other word out my mouth is mother fucker or the N word? As pissed as I was I still laughed my ass off with Amy. If I wasn't a comedian with comedian friends I would have stabbed a mother f*cker a long time ago, word son.

Safe hate is the worst kind.