As long as we're on the same page...

My wife bought a couch sight unseen off of Overstock.com. When the delivery guy arrived yesterday, he looked at our brownstone and the eight steps leading to the front door. He immediately said the following, "Hey, hope you know I don't do stairs." I replied, "I heard, hope you know I don't do tips." He didn't think it was funny, and by him hanging around for an extra minute after the couch was on the curb, he also didn't think I was serious.

Now that Obama is Pres., racism is over!!!

One of many sacrifices for my son

Getting a kid ready takes time, and any time I spend on me takes away time needed to get his diapers, bottle, car seat, clothes etc ready for any trip. As such I regret to inform you my afro is dead (May 2008 to Jan 09, RIP).

Dwayne from What's Happening was so proud. 

Very Obama-like; hope and change. 

The new cover from Blu-ray version of Face Off

It was fun while it lasted, but it's for the best. When I went into the Dominican barbershop and asked them to cut my wig off, the barber says in a very thick accent, "Poppa, jew sure?" I replied yes. He turns on the clippers and when he is about to cut he then says, "Poppa, jew sure, cuz when I cut it, it no come back." Perhaps I'll bury my hair in the pet cemetery, then it will come back. 

God help me

I just had a child and it really makes me believe in God; not the power of birth stuff. I believe in God by default.

Evolution could not explain how got here. A caveman couldn't hide from a velociraptor with a screaming baby in his hands.

"Dinner time!
I think I hear a baby that needs his diaper changed."

Sex sells, I guess

For years sex has been used to sell everything, but the new Arby's commercial comes off more as creepy. See for yourself.


I like how the hat pops up at the end to let you know he's got a boner. The commercial creeps me out, like this dude has chopped up a bunch of women and made an Arby's uniform out of human flesh. "It put's the Arby's sauce in the basket!"

Needless to say, I am never eating at Arby's.

Hey baby, do that dance

Those of you who know me, know I dress for comfort. I mean I look ok, have some new fashions, but I keep it chill. But apparently to some I looked thugged out.

On Friday I went into Walgreens to pick up my wife's perscriptions. As I came out a white hip hop looking couple with strong eastern European accents came up to me and asked me "Where is Fulton Street?" I knew immediately they were not looking for Fulton St., but rather Fulton Street Mall, home of 500 sneaker shops, 1,000 cell phone/pager stores, and countless hood rat clothing stores. I replied, "You mean Fulton St. Mall right?" They answered, "No, Fulton St., there is sneakers store here, and here and there." My reply, "You mean Fulton Street Mall, you want to shop and buy sneakers and stuff, right?" "Yes, Yes!"

Although the only thing I have ever bought from Fulton Street Mall, was a smoothie from Dunkin Donuts, I am mad that from where we were standing I knew exactly how to get there. I guess it's how birds know where to fly every winter.

This is NOT Josh Homer! Nor will it ever be.

Racism or just pride?

Everyone who has been to Cold Stone Creamery knows that when you tip the people there, they sing. Usually it's something like "We got a tip" etc. However in the Cold Stone in Brooklyn, when you tip them they sing a remix of Biggie Smalls' Hypnotize. Not only did I get a tub of Apple Pie a la Cold Stone but I was able to say "Brooklyn stand up!" and no one batted an eye.



Maybe Cold Stone ice cream put the Biggie in Biggie