Thursday, February 10, 2011

I had a kid

He took up a lot of my time. So I wasn't able to write. Now he's older, so I have more time and a lot more things I'm pissed off about. More to come.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I bet he watches NBC's "Heroes"

As a dude, I often day dream about having super powers. Then I hear my kid screaming and come back to reality. Some people are just not that...... just watch this video.

It will be a sad day when Shadow Hare (does a bunny strike fear in anyone?) gets shot. Perhaps his "team" can get a group discount at the gym. DId you notice there was a girl on his team? I would love to see who she is.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

New York's Bravest

Many people outside of New York have a certain reverence for NYC Police and Firemen based on the great job they did during 9-11 and the recovery efforts after. I'm not trying to take away from the work they did then. Well I live in NYC, and I can tell you that the police and firemen are not all good. I've had my run in with the police (A cop threatened to arrest me for handing out fliers until I threatened to call my lawyer) and I see them abuse their power on a daily basis. I saw a cop on his cell phone directing traffic, I routinely see the police in my neighborhood go up a wrong way street because to go around it would mean they would have to run three lights (they never wait for green lights). They double park, block fire hydrants; basically do what they want.

The firemen are at least funny when they abuse the power they have. I love when they park a fire-truck outside the local Pathmark and go shopping for groceries in full fireman uniform (The truck is of course parked in a fire zone and blocks traffic). I offer you this picture of a group of firefighters doing a little bulk shopping at Costco. Hey, maybe there was a fire sale.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I don't drink

but if I did, I'd only drink Sweet Bitch wine; it's smooth and fruity. 

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

WIth new Grand Theft Auto, parents try to dodge the bullets

You know my son is only 13 weeks old, but I already want someone else to raise him. That statement is both untrue and ridiculous. Yet when parents cry time and time again about how the state and private companies should help raise their kids, people agree.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown just came out of the Nintendo DS. Parents are complaining once again that game makers need to take responsibility for making these violent games. True. Nintendo should send someone over to each kids house and monitor what kids are playing. Nintendo should take an active role in the raising of kids. The government should put laws into place that limit the choices kids can make, thereby encroaching ever so slightly on that pesky 1st amendment. Or... parents can grow a pair, realize they are not their kids BFF and sometimes lay down rules that might make them looked at as the bad guy. As I recall it wasn't Nintendo that got you pregnant; If anything that the lovely people at Coors and the faulty people at Trojan.

In this game my parents are hypocrites.
Look I just called mommy a selfish bitch! 500 points!

Maybe God's trying to tell you something

On Sunday afternoon in New York City (actually the Bronx) a woman was shot with an arrow in the stomach as she got out of her car. She lived and is now in the hospital.

Everyone is in shock; as one of her friends said on the news, "Why would someone do this? We were coming from Church." Maybe God that's God's way of telling you to switch churches, you know He does work in mysterious.

Just doing His work

Friday, March 6, 2009

Chris Brown and Rihanna - part 2

Last night in my acting class the subject of the Chris Brown beat down came up. One girl defended Chris Brown and said that Rihanna looked like she could be a smart ass. I have three thoughts on this:

  1. A dude should never hit a woman. Despite what people say women and men are not equal, at least physically. That’s why in professional sports the rules are changed; the WNBA has a smaller ball (yet the same size hoops, makes for easier shots), the reason men’s and women professional tennis matches are structured differently. We acknowledge this difference in some arenas but not others, well the difference is very apparent in the “beat yo ass” arena.
  2. I do not know if you, the reader know how hard it is to knock someone out in a street fight, but it is very hard. It might look easy in boxing, or even in MMA, but that’s because there are rules. In a no holds barred, punch in the nuts, bite your hand, gouge your eye out fight, it’s very hard. Somehow Chris managed to knock her out. That’s a lot of rage and hate behind those fists.
  3. It’s about looks. Chris Brown is a pretty man, yeah I said it. He’s getting cut slack by some women (I can’t believe it either) because they like him. If he looked like Yaphet Kotto people would be calling for him to be lynched with a rope made of shards of glass and fire.

"I'm so sawwy I beat her ass, oh look a wave!"