I bet he watches NBC's "Heroes"

As a dude, I often day dream about having super powers. Then I hear my kid screaming and come back to reality. Some people are just not that...... just watch this video.



It will be a sad day when Shadow Hare (does a bunny strike fear in anyone?) gets shot. Perhaps his "team" can get a group discount at the gym. DId you notice there was a girl on his team? I would love to see who she is.

New York's Bravest

Many people outside of New York have a certain reverence for NYC Police and Firemen based on the great job they did during 9-11 and the recovery efforts after. I'm not trying to take away from the work they did then. Well I live in NYC, and I can tell you that the police and firemen are not all good. I've had my run in with the police (A cop threatened to arrest me for handing out fliers until I threatened to call my lawyer) and I see them abuse their power on a daily basis. I saw a cop on his cell phone directing traffic, I routinely see the police in my neighborhood go up a wrong way street because to go around it would mean they would have to run three lights (they never wait for green lights). They double park, block fire hydrants; basically do what they want.

The firemen are at least funny when they abuse the power they have. I love when they park a fire-truck outside the local Pathmark and go shopping for groceries in full fireman uniform (The truck is of course parked in a fire zone and blocks traffic). I offer you this picture of a group of firefighters doing a little bulk shopping at Costco. Hey, maybe there was a fire sale.

I don't drink

but if I did, I'd only drink Sweet Bitch wine; it's smooth and fruity. 

WIth new Grand Theft Auto, parents try to dodge the bullets

You know my son is only 13 weeks old, but I already want someone else to raise him. That statement is both untrue and ridiculous. Yet when parents cry time and time again about how the state and private companies should help raise their kids, people agree.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown just came out of the Nintendo DS. Parents are complaining once again that game makers need to take responsibility for making these violent games. True. Nintendo should send someone over to each kids house and monitor what kids are playing. Nintendo should take an active role in the raising of kids. The government should put laws into place that limit the choices kids can make, thereby encroaching ever so slightly on that pesky 1st amendment. Or... parents can grow a pair, realize they are not their kids BFF and sometimes lay down rules that might make them looked at as the bad guy. As I recall it wasn't Nintendo that got you pregnant; If anything that the lovely people at Coors and the faulty people at Trojan.

In this game my parents are hypocrites.
Look I just called mommy a selfish bitch! 500 points!

Maybe God's trying to tell you something

On Sunday afternoon in New York City (actually the Bronx) a woman was shot with an arrow in the stomach as she got out of her car. She lived and is now in the hospital.

Everyone is in shock; as one of her friends said on the news, "Why would someone do this? We were coming from Church." Maybe God that's God's way of telling you to switch churches, you know He does work in mysterious.

Just doing His work

Chris Brown and Rihanna - part 2

Last night in my acting class the subject of the Chris Brown beat down came up. One girl defended Chris Brown and said that Rihanna looked like she could be a smart ass. I have three thoughts on this:

1. A dude should never hit a woman. Despite what people say women and men are not equal, at least physically. That’s why in professional sports the rules are changed; the WNBA has a smaller ball (yet the same size hoops, makes for easier shots), the reason men’s and women professional tennis matches are structured differently. We acknowledge this difference in some arenas but not others, well the difference is very apparent in the “beat yo ass” arena.
2. I do not know if you, the reader know how hard it is to knock someone out in a street fight, but it is very hard. It might look easy in boxing, or even in MMA, but that’s because there are rules. In a no holds barred, punch in the nuts, bite your hand, gouge your eye out fight, it’s very hard. Somehow Chris managed to knock her out. That’s a lot of rage and hate behind those fists.
3. It’s about looks. Chris Brown is a pretty man, yeah I said it. He’s getting cut slack by some women (I can’t believe it either) because they like him. If he looked like Yaphet Kotto people would be calling for him to be lynched with a rope made of shards of glass and fire.

"I'm so sawwy I beat her ass, oh look a wave!"

Real talk

So after Chris Brown handed Rihanna a beat down of epic proportions (she was literally choked out and looked like this) she took him back. Sad.

All the little girls (and some boys, hayyyyeee!) who look up to her are seeing this; seeing her and Chris on vacation in Miami jet skiing (and healing up). What message is it sending? Did you see Chris "Bobby" Brown's less than sincere apology? Talking about an "unfortunate situation"? Really? At least he could have manned up on the apology.

I blame her brothers, because if I knew of a dude who hit my sister, well let's just say all those episodes of Forensic Files info would come in handy. I would at least take a bunch of doornobs and put them in a pillow case.

Personally I think it’s only a matter of time before he is back to his old tricks. Perhaps I should lend her my copy of Forensic Files

He's Just Not That Into You

I am a big fan of Forensic Files. It amazes me how a case can be solved using cat hair.

I saw an episode the other day where a husband killed his wife. Turns out it was the second time he tried to kill her. The first time he snuck up behind her in their barn and hit her in the head with the blunt side of an axe. Then he ran off. She crawled something like 100 yards to a neighbor’s house and the neighbor calls 911.

The woman is taken to a hospital where she lies and says a horse kicked her in the head (The medical examiner actually wrote in his report, “This is BS!”) and went back to her husband. She told her friends she wanted to “work it out.”

I can see if he cheated, maybe you can work that out. He snores; you can work that out with Breath Right strips. He’s bad with money; work that out with a financial class. But he snuck up behind you and hit you in the head with a very large hammer, how do you work that out? With Spidey sense? Maybe, unless you're married to Venom

"The Bachelor" "Jason Meznick" and maybe "Jimmy Kimmel" (or is it Jason Mesnick?)

A blogger friend of mine mentioned how hot the topic of the TV show The Bachelor" is right now. He also mentioned that the finale was a let down. My thought is, "You watch the Bachelor?"

Man up.

Protesting done wrong

I don't know how many people followed the Take Back NYU protest, where a bunch of kids took over the food court for two days. I had to walk past this crap on my way home from class. They wanted outrageous demands like for NYU to open it’s books, for NYU to get involved in the Gaza conflict (“We’ll send our crack team of flashlight security guards there right now!"), and more use of the library. Oh stupid kids.

In the video below, after NYU heads had enough of this childish crap, they walked right past the “barricades” the protesters put up.

In the video I noticed the following things said by the protesters:

• “We’re trying to do this as a democracy” – No you’re not, you took over a food court. The definition of that is not democracy but actually terrorism.
  
• To the incoming security guards: "You can’t come here this is NYU student free space” – Ummmm, no it’s not. It’s space OWNED by NYU and students are allowed to use it. Because you go to a school does not mean you own real-estate.
• “Brutality! You’re on camera” – This is said to security guards as they are walking away!
• “You may not detain us!” – Actually they can, you’re trespassing, you’re breaking the law. You can be arrested.
• From one protester to another: “We’re using consensus as to how we will proceed” – Ummm, no you’re not, you’re just stalling before the cops that have you surrounded arrest you. You were NEVER in control. The administration let you play a game that they could have ended anytime they felt like it, and they did.

I understand that NYU wanted to avoid looking like the bad guy, so they allowed the kids to play their little protest game, but if I were in charge I would have just had the police clear them out the first night. All in all this was not a real protest, but just something that a 40 year old man can look back and say, “Remember that time we took over the food court? That was awesome.”

If only I can get my wife on the same page

Who knew raising a baby was such hard work? Well it's time for the little one to pay his own way.

As long as we're on the same page...

My wife bought a couch sight unseen off of Overstock.com. When the delivery guy arrived yesterday, he looked at our brownstone and the eight steps leading to the front door. He immediately said the following, "Hey, hope you know I don't do stairs." I replied, "I heard, hope you know I don't do tips." He didn't think it was funny, and by him hanging around for an extra minute after the couch was on the curb, he also didn't think I was serious.

Now that Obama is Pres., racism is over!!!

One of many sacrifices for my son

Getting a kid ready takes time, and any time I spend on me takes away time needed to get his diapers, bottle, car seat, clothes etc ready for any trip. As such I regret to inform you my afro is dead (May 2008 to Jan 09, RIP).

Dwayne from What's Happening was so proud. 

Very Obama-like; hope and change. 

The new cover from Blu-ray version of Face Off

It was fun while it lasted, but it's for the best. When I went into the Dominican barbershop and asked them to cut my wig off, the barber says in a very thick accent, "Poppa, jew sure?" I replied yes. He turns on the clippers and when he is about to cut he then says, "Poppa, jew sure, cuz when I cut it, it no come back." Perhaps I'll bury my hair in the pet cemetery, then it will come back. 

God help me

I just had a child and it really makes me believe in God; not the power of birth stuff. I believe in God by default.

Evolution could not explain how got here. A caveman couldn't hide from a velociraptor with a screaming baby in his hands.

"Dinner time!
I think I hear a baby that needs his diaper changed."