I don't drink

but if I did, I'd only drink Sweet Bitch wine; it's smooth and fruity. 

WIth new Grand Theft Auto, parents try to dodge the bullets

You know my son is only 13 weeks old, but I already want someone else to raise him. That statement is both untrue and ridiculous. Yet when parents cry time and time again about how the state and private companies should help raise their kids, people agree.

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown just came out of the Nintendo DS. Parents are complaining once again that game makers need to take responsibility for making these violent games. True. Nintendo should send someone over to each kids house and monitor what kids are playing. Nintendo should take an active role in the raising of kids. The government should put laws into place that limit the choices kids can make, thereby encroaching ever so slightly on that pesky 1st amendment. Or... parents can grow a pair, realize they are not their kids BFF and sometimes lay down rules that might make them looked at as the bad guy. As I recall it wasn't Nintendo that got you pregnant; If anything that the lovely people at Coors and the faulty people at Trojan.

In this game my parents are hypocrites.
Look I just called mommy a selfish bitch! 500 points!

Maybe God's trying to tell you something

On Sunday afternoon in New York City (actually the Bronx) a woman was shot with an arrow in the stomach as she got out of her car. She lived and is now in the hospital.

Everyone is in shock; as one of her friends said on the news, "Why would someone do this? We were coming from Church." Maybe God that's God's way of telling you to switch churches, you know He does work in mysterious.

Just doing His work

Chris Brown and Rihanna - part 2

Last night in my acting class the subject of the Chris Brown beat down came up. One girl defended Chris Brown and said that Rihanna looked like she could be a smart ass. I have three thoughts on this:

1. A dude should never hit a woman. Despite what people say women and men are not equal, at least physically. That’s why in professional sports the rules are changed; the WNBA has a smaller ball (yet the same size hoops, makes for easier shots), the reason men’s and women professional tennis matches are structured differently. We acknowledge this difference in some arenas but not others, well the difference is very apparent in the “beat yo ass” arena.
2. I do not know if you, the reader know how hard it is to knock someone out in a street fight, but it is very hard. It might look easy in boxing, or even in MMA, but that’s because there are rules. In a no holds barred, punch in the nuts, bite your hand, gouge your eye out fight, it’s very hard. Somehow Chris managed to knock her out. That’s a lot of rage and hate behind those fists.
3. It’s about looks. Chris Brown is a pretty man, yeah I said it. He’s getting cut slack by some women (I can’t believe it either) because they like him. If he looked like Yaphet Kotto people would be calling for him to be lynched with a rope made of shards of glass and fire.

"I'm so sawwy I beat her ass, oh look a wave!"

Real talk

So after Chris Brown handed Rihanna a beat down of epic proportions (she was literally choked out and looked like this) she took him back. Sad.

All the little girls (and some boys, hayyyyeee!) who look up to her are seeing this; seeing her and Chris on vacation in Miami jet skiing (and healing up). What message is it sending? Did you see Chris "Bobby" Brown's less than sincere apology? Talking about an "unfortunate situation"? Really? At least he could have manned up on the apology.

I blame her brothers, because if I knew of a dude who hit my sister, well let's just say all those episodes of Forensic Files info would come in handy. I would at least take a bunch of doornobs and put them in a pillow case.

Personally I think it’s only a matter of time before he is back to his old tricks. Perhaps I should lend her my copy of Forensic Files

He's Just Not That Into You

I am a big fan of Forensic Files. It amazes me how a case can be solved using cat hair.

I saw an episode the other day where a husband killed his wife. Turns out it was the second time he tried to kill her. The first time he snuck up behind her in their barn and hit her in the head with the blunt side of an axe. Then he ran off. She crawled something like 100 yards to a neighbor’s house and the neighbor calls 911.

The woman is taken to a hospital where she lies and says a horse kicked her in the head (The medical examiner actually wrote in his report, “This is BS!”) and went back to her husband. She told her friends she wanted to “work it out.”

I can see if he cheated, maybe you can work that out. He snores; you can work that out with Breath Right strips. He’s bad with money; work that out with a financial class. But he snuck up behind you and hit you in the head with a very large hammer, how do you work that out? With Spidey sense? Maybe, unless you're married to Venom

"The Bachelor" "Jason Meznick" and maybe "Jimmy Kimmel" (or is it Jason Mesnick?)

A blogger friend of mine mentioned how hot the topic of the TV show The Bachelor" is right now. He also mentioned that the finale was a let down. My thought is, "You watch the Bachelor?"

Man up.