Is this what we've come to?

This morning on the train a hippie mom (young white, with a nose ring and living in Brooklyn) got on with her two kids (younger girl about 4 with blond hair blue eyes, and an older boy about 8 who looked like his daddy was Obama-esque), like the kid in the Aruba ads sitting down here but with shorter hair.

The kids were sitting down, while the hippie mom stood up. The little girl was acting like a jerk. She was moving around and climbing up on this big black dude who was sitting there annoyed but didn't say anything. The mother told the girl repeatedly to calm down and stop bothering other people on the train. Finally the mother says, "Ok you've lost your sitting down privileges" and pulls the daughter off the seat. Now the kid goes into full fake crying and yelling mode, her brother just looks at her with a "this chick here" expression.

The girl is yelling so the mom's response is, "Keep it up and you will loose your chance to go into Starbucks later." The girl screams louder. Mom repeats, "I'm not joking, looks like you're missing out on Starbucks." The kid fake cries even more. Finally their stop comes and the mom says, "Ok get ready to go because this stop." The little girl miraculously is healed of all damage and instantly stops crying and they get off.

How do you threaten a 4 year old with Starbucks? Why the eff is a 4 year old even IN a Starbucks? What happened to kids just being scared of their parents because they are kids and their parents are actually parenting?
I was a really really good girl

She sure knows how to give a compliment

Conversation I had with my wife Wednesday morning as we both woke up:

Wife:Did you work out yesterday in the morning and then play basketball at night?
Me: Yeah, why?
Wife: cuz, you look like shit.

Sad part is I felt like it too. I'm getting old.

Maybe she said it because I was wearing this hat

Now I get it

My father used to watch the news and the Knicks. I never understood it, news was so boring, who cares? I'd rather watch Misfits of Science or Knight Rider.

The day my wife told me she was pregnant, I understood. I've watched more news in the last 9 months than I have in my entire life. As far as the Knicks go, I still don't get that.

"I don't even want to watch this game."

Obama won, now STFU about it

I support Obama (mixed kids 4 life!), I donated, I talked to people about voting for him, my middle name is Barak. I am ecstatic he won, my world has already changed because of it. However, people need to be quiet about it for now and let January 20th come.

Lots of people are saying that the eletion proved that America is not racist. Slow down. What it porved is 53% of the 61% of eligible voters picked Obama. That's only 32% of the eligible voters picking him. That's not a lot, and how many of the people who voted for Barack are black, Latino or some other minority that racism was never a problem they had but one they experienced.

To some, what Barack is now is a validation that darkies are taking over. He's a recruitment tool of racist extremist. He's already recieved so many death threats and he's not even in office.

So for now, just whisper hope and change, at least until Barack gets his foot in the door.

I just didn't and still don't care

Last night as I approach my door, with an armfull of groceries, I see three fire trucks, two emergency police trucks and two ambulances near my house. I also see a bunch of people standing around looking. I couldn't see what was going on because one of the firetrucks blocked my view. I walked up to my door and my new neighbor is coming out. The following exchange tooks place:

Neighbor: Wow, what's going on?
Me: I have no idea.
Neighbor: I heard someone is pinned in a car or something
Me: Well it looks like a car accident to me, there are too many people just standing around for it to be a shooting.
Neighbor: Yeah, I guess. You going over there?
Me: Nah, I don't care, and I'm hungry. I'll read about it in the police blotter or something.
Neighbor: Oh....ok, well have a good night.
Me: You too.

I've lived in my neighborhood for over three years, and before that I used to hang out here; so I've been around these parts for the last 10 years. Just because a bunch of new people are here, doesn't mean I should care. Couple that with the fact that if the same accident happeend just 5 years ago before the new (white) people moved in, the response to a simple accident would not have been so grand.

For all I know this could have been what happened

Alicia Keys please!!!

My mom loves my wife, I know because she tells me often. However my mom can no except my wife. Confusing? Yes, let me explain.

I was raised very religious, very very religious. I used to know every book in the Bible, in order, the authors, where the books where written and their significance to the Bible as a whole.

My wife is not the religion I was raised, so it's caused some tension in our collective households. Which lead to the following conversation between my wife and my mom:

Mom: You know, I love you but I just can't except you, if you know what I mean.
Wife: Not really.
Mom: I mean even if you were Alicia Keys, I couldn't fully except you.
Wife: Alicia Keys?
Mom: You know she is beautiful, but I just couldn't except her either.

My wife then comes to me and says, "I can't believe she compared me to Alicia Keys! I am so much better than her!"
So true. (But Alicia if you're reading this, ummm call me.)

You can't even except me? I'm rich! I play the piano and everything!

PS - I tried to post an Alicia Keys video but youtube put the cabosh on all her vids! So much for the fans.

The Times Are a Changin'

So my father-in-law is a nice guy. He's not a complicated man, and my wife adores him and I can understand why.

He's also said a few racist things about black people in the past, including one time he dropped the N-Bomb in front of me (Which I am not allowed to talk about on stage! It's comedy gold I tell you! Pure 24k gold!). I mean he's lived in Texas for over 30 years, some things have rubbed off on him.

Yesterday, one day after Obama won, my wife got a call. Her father said he is proud his grand kid will be black. I actually teared up.

Monday Nov 3rd

I step into the elevator at work and a brown skinned delivery guy jumps in to. He looks at me and says, "It's our time now." I look back and smile. He then says, "They've had their chance, now it's our time." I said, "You're right." Then the door opens and some white people get in. The delivery guy gets quiet and looks down at the floor. The white people get off, then the guys says in a hushed tone, "Our time" and gets off at the next floor.

He was into change but he didn't want the good white folk to think he was too uppity.