I agree Mr. Greer

Usually I think David Alan Greer is a bit on the "coony" side. The Yale School of Drama graduate always seems to play "scared negreo #4" in whatever movie he is in (Exhibit A: Jumanji). However he sometimes hits the nail on the head with his new TV show called Chocolate News on Comedy Central. Granted I was a little bit jealous of this one as I had a similar idea that I was working on with another comic, but that jealousy subsided when I watched this clip (I know my talent could not have done the bit the justice which Mr. Greer did it. However he is still on my Coon Suspect list.)

What a waste

About 2 months ago Facebook offered free Obama buttons to the first 10,000 (or was it 1,000 or maybe 100,000. Who cares?) who replied. After waiing 6 to 8 weeks, my button arrived yesterday in a HUGE package.

Yes we can (use lotion)

Although I am a huge supporter of Obama, I can not cosign this ashy foot look he's rocking in Hawaii. Yes I know he was visiting his sick grandmother, but ashy feet are not presidential.



One week to the election. Make sure you vote.

Only in New York City

Today I was in Times Square and bumped into fellow comic Doug Adler. While we chatted away a homeless man in a wheel chair rolled past us, he had a "boom box" in his lap and was begging for change.

When he does not get any change he heads over to the pay phone, then he stands up to make a call.

I weep for the children

Last night I performed at an open mic. A few comics after I finished another guy went up who I had seen perform a few times before and he was never that funny. I could take him or leave him.

Last night he proceded to do a bit about how Michael Richards called some black people the N word. He then says, "..but they were talking during his set, so calling them niggas was accurate. I hate how niggas get mad when you call them niggas, well then stop acting like a nigga."

Then he says he doesn't date black women because they look like monkeys. "Oprah is pretty monkey-ish, right? Whoopi Goldberg is definately a monkey!" The crowd gave some awkward laughs and myself and the only other black guy in the audience who just happened to sit next to me looked at each other not knowing what to do.

The comic on stage was black. Luckily for him I had already went up.

The Tony Rock Project

After a cancelled stand up show, Tony Rock is back with The Tony Rock Project. I watched it last night. If I were Tony Rock I would call Chris everyday and the conversation would go like this:

TR: Hey Chris
CR: Hey Tony
TR: Thank you
CR: Thank me? For what?
TR: For being you, for being a great older brother. Thanks man.
CR: You're welcome?
TR: Thanks man. I'll call you tomorrow. I love you so much man.
CR: I love you to man, I got to go, HBO is on the other line.
TR: Really? Tell them..*click* Hello?

I leave you with a review of The Tony Rock Project from the Washington Post. Here's a quote:
The younger Rock seems bright and likable. He just doesn't have the timing, charisma, wit or material of his more famous family member. Which makes him the Charlie Murphy, the Solange Knowles or maybe the any-of-the-Baldwin-brothers-not-named-Alec of the Rock family.

Ouch!

A message from Sarah Palin

Marked for Death

I often wonder what happened to Steven Seagal after his Oscar snubbed performances in Glimmer Man and Under Siege 2: Dark Territory. Turns out he's the CEO of Exxon Mobile.

Time for new ear buds

Not because I am embarrassed but because the tape is scratching my face.

I feel like I'm 15 again

Today I had to wait for an important call. Every 5 seconds I'm checking my phone, seeing if I missed it. Every 10 seconds I'm checking my phone to see if I'm getting reception. I've been sitting at my desk in the same spot, about 6 inches from my phone. Unless I suddenly went deaf and at the exact same momment all the cell towers that support downtown Manhattan went out, I don't think I could have missed the call.

The woman emailed me.

The Catholics (and Jewish moms) are right!

Guilt Works. Yesterday my visibly pregnant wife and I got on the train to go to work. A young women sitting between two fully grown adult men sees her, gets up and taps my wife on the shoulder and asks her to sit down.

I look at the two losers how were sitting next to this lady and say loud enough so everyone can hear me, “Man, it is always a woman. These men are just…” then I make a noise showing my disapproval. The dude looks me in the eye then gets up and offers his seat to the lady who gave my wife hers.

Now to try to guilt my wife into getting me some Xbox games.

Damn hippies!

Last night my wife and I went on a tour of the hospital maternity section. There was the usual cast of characters: the couple with a ton of questions, the funny couple (actually not really funny. Example: the tour guide says, "This is where you drop the baby off for the tests?" He replies, "Can we not say drop. I don't want to drop my baby!" BA-ZING!), the couple who was over it (that was us). We had a surprise guest couple though, the anti-establishment couple.

"When they are delivering the baby, can we make sure no one is in the room but my midwife?" Of course you can replied the tour guide. Then we go to the nursery, where you have to "drop off" your baby, so it can be cleaned, tested, weighed and heated up (I kid you no, they put the kid under a heat lamp like he's a hamburger). The anti-establishment says, "Can I be with my baby during all this testing?" No, you can't go into the nursery. "Why not? I want to see what they are doing to my baby." You can look in through the glass but you can not go inside. Duh, I don't want that couple walking near my newborn baby with their adult germs!

The best question of the night though was again from out anti-establishment couple. "Can I wear my own clothes during delivery? Like not wear the gown they give me." Really? WTF are you going to wear instead? Your lucky jeans? Sometimes I just hate people. The couple also declared on the elevator ride down that they wished they took the tour early so that they could change hospitals because this hospital is bad (FYI - it's one of the best in the city)

Captian Obvious

So People Magazine reportedly payed Clay Aiken $500,000 for the story that he is gay. I wonder if I ever make will they be willing to pay me $500,000 for the inside scoop that I'm black.