Auditions

So I had an audition today. It was my first for a movie, they needed comedians, black comedians. I've auditioned for TV shows, some TV ads but never a movie. I'll let you in on a secret: they're all the same. You get your lines ahead of time, show up, wait around, go in a room with 2 or more people, say your name into a camera and then start reading.

This time they were auditioning kids in the other room, but we all shared the same waiting room. I learned that I never want to have a kid who is a child actor. The kids (all except one red haired kid) seemed maladjusted. The acted as if they had no childhood. One kid who was 9 going on 10 told another child and his mom that he didn't understand why kids his age don't like reading Moby Dick because it's a good book. Age 9?!?!?! At 9 I was just discovering my mody dick, and it was a page turner.

The audition gets even creepier for the kids. They go in the audition room by themselves behind a curtain so the other kids, and the parents can not see. A camera? A child away from his parents? The child looking to please the auditioners? This screams of the Bicycle man from Different Strokes. If they ask you to play safari run for the hills kid!



Back to me, I don't think I got the part. While reading the part that was clearly written for a young Faizon Love I slipped into my "Coon" voice. A voice I do to mock people like Flava Flav. I guess I thought the character was worthy of the voice. The character was a black sidekick to a Van Wilder type. He basically says "Yes boss" to Van the whole movie. Oh well, I still would do the movie. I don't think of it as selling out but buying in. Rent is due.

Fazion Love: You might remember him from such classics as "Who's You Caddy?", "3 Strikes" and "The Players Club"

In his defence though Faizon Love turned down Soul Plane because he felt it was too much. Even Mr. Love can recognize some real coonery a bafoonery.