I've had a crush on Salma way before I ever met my wife. When my wife and I were dating for a year or so, she helped me clean up my house, and by clean up she threw out all my Salma stuff. Granted I was like a 13 year old boy with a poster of her in a bikini in my home office, but come on, she was in Desperado! I liked her so much I own a copy of Banditas, a movie not fit for human eyes.
The thing is my wife says this after Salma just popped out a baby, which is not bad, but the baby daddy is some creepy very old French dude and I can't stop thinking about that. I mean her baby daddy was alive when slavery was an issue. What if his old face pops into my head during the act? That's a deal closer, I'll always know Salma touched some dusty old balls.
This situation also tells me that my wife thinks I couldn't pull Salma! Now granted I don't have the 6 pack anymore, my teeth are a bit yellow, but I still got it! I'm funny and sometimes charming so I think I could get Salma. Clearly my wife doesn't agree. She is so sure I could not get me some Salma that she says, "Go ahead do it, if you can." That's like her saying, "Sure you can go to the strip club on the moon." It's just mocking me.
I've made it my goal to get with Salma Hayek, and if not I'm putting a wig on Eva Mendez and calling it a night.
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