New York sometimes pisses me off

I had an audition this morning, well it was an open call. What that means is a bunch of people show up, wait in line and then "audition". My audition went well (or so I think). Here's how it went down.

I got there around 9 AM and met up with Harris Bloom had had been there since about 8. He was first in line, I was 5th. We chat it up, get cold, as more comics arrive. (Harris was nice enough to buy me a hot chocolate). I usually eat some fruit for breakfast, purchased from one of the many the fruit stands in SoHo. The apple cost me 50 cents. But today I missed my breakfast and I was near times square. I bought an apple and it cost me $1.50! GOD DAMN. YOU can get a half pound of apples for that price at PathMark.

An apple a day will make you broke

The 11 AM start time rolls around and I'm ready. Then a comic who I started with shows up. I run to the back of the line and say hello and ask him for my Chris Rock and Jerry Sienfeld CD's back (He's had them for over 2 years! Don't let Ed Pudup borrow your comedy CDs)
A soon as we start talking they start letting people in, I try to run back to my position in line but it's too late. They shut the door on me. Oh well I learned my lesson. The funny thing is before I went to talk to Ed, I said out loud, "Oh crap there's Ed Pudup, I should go talk to him but they may start moving the line."

In any event I laughed it off and waited out it the cold for the next 10 comics to be let in. Once we got inside I signed the sheet and was comic number 12 of the day, not bad. However, I was a little antsy from not being able left out in the cold for an additional 10 minutes.

You're supposed to do 2 to 3 minutes of material for the two judges, there is one other person in the room who sits in the back and you can't really see them. My time comes I go in the room and here's how it goes down:

Judge 1: Hey

Judge 2: Hey, so what's your name?

Me: Josh Homer

Judge 2: So where you from

Me: Brooklyn, but originally from New Jersey

Judge 2: Brooklyn by way of dirty Jersey, nice. So how long have you been doing this?

Me: About 4 and half years (pause) but closer to five.

Judge 1: Ok lets here it

Me: You don't want to hear my credits or anything?

Judge 1: Nah, that's ok.

Me: Ok here we go......

I then tell ONE joke and the judges love it, they even laugh at the setup.

Me: (as the judges are laughing) So is there anything else you need from me or are we good?

Judge 1: (laughing) No man, you're good, you can leave.

Judge 2: You can get out of here.

Me: Alright later dudes. (walks off stage and out the door)


Maybe they will call me, maybe they will not.
Moral of the story: I'm an ass.