Back from Texas

I got home yesterday night after my flight was delayed for over an hour, good times. The only thing worse than being stuck in an airport, is being stuck in an airport in Houston. I mean if you're into eating large portions of crappy food then its heaven.

Everything in Texas is bigger, especially the people. The cars are bigger, to fit the bigger people. The restaurants serve bigger portions because it's demanded by the bigger people. Check out this ice cream I found at the local Wal-Mart

More stuff? Is that the ingredients list?

You do however get a whole steak and salmon filet for about $20, so I can't really complain. It was also interesting to see election coverage in Texas. McCain is the man down there. Oh well, can't win them all.

To further prove my "people are bigger in Texas" theory, here are some pics from the plane ride home.

On one side of me fluffy white pillows
and on the other the sky.
Never has a seatbelt worked so hard for so little.

This lady was all up on me, but didn't even know it. She was dead asleep, snoring, and then the meals came. No one woke her up, but like the instincts of the South African Swallow who knows exactly when to migrate to find the breading and eating grounds, she awoke when food was near. The meal: Salad with Caesar dressing, cheese burger and a milky way bar for desert. She ate her burger before the drink cart even made it to us and the drink cart was only 3 rows behind the food cart! (We were only in aisle 14) Her husband’s appetite was equally veracious and his cheese burger lived a very short life. He had work to do on the computer so after gulping down the burger, he typed away. She ate her burger, then her milky way. She rested but was still hungry. She then pours all the dressing on her salad, eats it. Then she does the same to her husband's salad. Then the two milky ways meet their maker. She was shoveling the food into her mouth at a rate I have never seen. I was waiting for her to choke. Although I wished no harm to her, I wanted to see if someone could actually fit their arms around her to perform the Heimlich maneuver. But alas there was no show. Oh I forgot to add the best part, before her "nap" she ate a king sized candy bar, I guess that was the apertizer. After her meal (1 Cheese burger, 2 salads, 2 milky ways, and a cup of soda), she capped it off with another king sized candy bar that she either pulled out her purse or from under one of her back titties.

She also annoyed me because she had a Soduku book, and she could not finish one puzzle. When she was not eating, or sleeping, she just stared at the page with her pencil in her hand. Now Soduku can be hard (well not really), but it should not take you a whole 3 hour flight and you not put down one number, not ONE! If that's the case Soduku may not be your game. Try that hot dog eating contest, you might not win but I bet you will at least score some points.

I did learn a valuable lesson while in Texas: Never cut your own hair.

I need that Like I need another hole in my head! BA-ZING! I'm here all week, try the veal.